Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Cellulite Reality - Fit Girls Have It Too

It is thought that 80-90% of the adult female population has some level of cellulite, or so Wikipedia says.  I have it which means most of you reading this have it, and that also means that overly photo shopped biotch in that magazine you’re reading has it too.  There are multiple different factors that contribute to cellulite and NO it’s not solely from having excess fat.  You most likely got it from your momma!
Take me for example, I’m currently sitting at a healthy 135lbs, somewhere between 18-20% body fat (this is a TOTAL guestimate) with a decent amount of muscle mass.  However my fat cells are complete JERKS on my butt, legs, and stomach.  Actually to tell you the absolute honest to dirt truth I have yet to see my stomach completely dimple free! Yes this includes even after I’ve dieted down for competition.  What I’m getting at is, congratulations you’re a REAL FREAKIN FEMALE!  High five!
Seriously though short of sucking the fat out of me, which wouldn’t work anyway because, baby, I was born this way, there is nothing for me to do besides accept that this is who I am all year round and the sooner I love it the sooner I can check it off my “Sh!t I Don’t Give a Sh!t About” list. 
By the way who was the genius that coined the term “cellulite” in the 1920’s ANYWAY??  Way to go a$$hole, you’ve given women everywhere a complex for close to 100 years.  Oh and a big shout out to Vogue magazine for actually printing the term in black & white in the 60’s.  I’m pretty sure we would have been plenty happy staying completely ignorant to the fact that anything was apparently wrong.  If Marie Antoinette was happy eating cake I want to be too. ;)