Unos, Dos, Tres, Cuatro

We talk about 4 things over here:
1) Constipation
2) Menstration
3) Carb Zombieism
4) Everything else

And not necessarilly in that order. 

So since I haven't talked about 1-3 in a while let's start at the top! ;)

We'll tackle numbers 1 and 2 in one fell swoop since I know both make a few of you uncomfortable. Me? As I always say, I talk about EVERYTHING because I know that someone is going through the exact same thing I am somewhere in this world and no one says ANYTHING about alot of the whoas of contest preparation. So, buckle up, read on, or skip to the next paragraph. Up to you.

The one thing I like, no love, about getting my period during contest prep is that I KNOW I will be guaranteed one really good bowel movement a month.  I kid you not.  My body is in top form when I am consuming carbs.  As those amounts decrease my bowel movements follow suit. It sucks but it's a VERY real side effect that has caused so many women to feel the need to use an excess amount of laxitives. I do not recommend that. If you must, grab a bottle of Cascara Sagrada from your local herbal store and let it work it's magic. Or wait for your period like me, your choice.  Anyway, sure the pain is ridiculous, and sometimes I have to leave work because Advil just isn't cutting it, but at the end of the day I know that for the next 22-28 days things are sloooooow going.

On to numbero 3.  For those of you who haven't heard me use the word yet, I have dubbed my contest prep alter ego The Carb Zombie.  It usually shows up as soon as my diet changes but this year I had a whole month with nothing. No cravings, and only slight irritableness. I was actually starting to get a little scared and wondering if I had actually mastered the ability to shut it up but I was oh so happy to learn it wasn't going to be that easy as it showed up last week.  I was able to power through it though. I STILL don't have a craving for chocolate which has been my biggest weakness through all of the contests I've done.  Currently I just want to eat in general. I want to go out and order an overly portioned meal and eat until I feel disgusting. lol  Otherwise The Carb Zombie is strangely satisfied. :)

As for everything else, the above is my everything else right now.  Hubby is still training hard with me and looking fantastic. I can't wait for the both of us to hit the stage in April and accomplish this contest as a couple! 

You're Nuts

Just a quick update before I get in to my current rant, training is good. Dieting is weirdly good (another blog about that later), I feel really really good.  I'm also lookin' real good. ;) 

Anywho the latest ridiculousness to get me fired up, though I KNOW it doesn't usually take much, is Nutella's current marketing campaign to be a breakfast food.  Yes, I said breakfast.  Breaking your fast with sugar, palm oil "and a hint of coco". 

Exibit A:

In the words of Grumpy Cat: NO. No no no no no.  Even on the days post competition when I'm craving every horrible food imaginable, never have I started my day with the filling of Ferrero Rocher. 

Exibit B:

Notice they say "tasty" instead of "healthy".  I already have an interesting time finding a breakfast for my 13 year old step son that is inbetween the healthy and tasty region that he'll eat.  It usually consists of Mini Wheats but at least it's better then most of the other crap on the shelves. Now we have Nutella saying "Come to the dark side, we have hazelnuts." 

In 2012 Nutella went on a breakfast tour of the Southern United States.  A TOUR!  When is the last time a company like Quaker went on a tour?



Something so simple as a bowl of oats, heck even those prepackaged flavoured oats, is 100 times better than serving your, quote, "loved ones" something that has sugar and palm oil listed as the first two ingredients (i.e. the base), in their product. 

Educate yourself and your family about the difference between treats and proper nutrition and how to balance both.  Your kids are the future and you are responsible for setting them up with the knowledge of forming a nutritious meal that is fuel for their growing bodies.    

*The above is simply the opinion of someone who is striving to live a healthier life and sees the effects of advertising on young minds. If you want to eat Nutella for breakfast, have at'er*

Progressive Rant - 1 month update

Time for a 1 month update. I don't even know what to say anymore to be honest. I feel like I'm redundant. If you go back 2 years ago I'm still saying the same stupid crap. Still complaining, still struggling, still making excuses.  How many times does a person have to burn their forehead on a curling iron before they realize that was a dumb idea. Usually just once because the scar that's left is a daily reminder. (true story, circa 1997) So how many times does a person have to outgrow their pants before they learn the same lesson???? So far it's 3 for me.  While "third time's the charm", there are just some things that don't fit so well into that catagory. Marriages, heart attacks, strokes, and waist lines. Among others but you get the point.

Do I sound mad? That's because I am mad. I look at my progress picture and while I'm happy with my progress, I truly, madly, deeply, (also circa 1997) am, I absolutely loathe the before picture. Because it's the same before picture from last year, and the year before, and probably the year before that where a bag of chips a night was divine.  So while the bright side is, chips last longer should they ever enter our household, I get bummed out at the reality of my lack of balance.

That nonsense all being said, the progress below was made in a little over a month I realized but still, pretty freakin awesome if I can say so myself. 

No my hair didn't magically grow by the way.  Most of the time my hair is up in a bun, which I see is causing me to bald a tad. Meh. 

So here's my ass all over the internet for someone to do unspeakable things with but that's the chance you take when you try to inspire people and frankly yourself.  And if you see this and want to try to pass it off as you or as someone you're training, screw you. This is me and I'm trained by the one and only Ainsley McSorely suckers.  Get off your own lazy asses and make your own progress and your own blogs with your own rants. 

I promise next time I'll be happier. lol