Unos, Dos, Tres, Cuatro

We talk about 4 things over here:
1) Constipation
2) Menstration
3) Carb Zombieism
4) Everything else

And not necessarilly in that order. 

So since I haven't talked about 1-3 in a while let's start at the top! ;)

We'll tackle numbers 1 and 2 in one fell swoop since I know both make a few of you uncomfortable. Me? As I always say, I talk about EVERYTHING because I know that someone is going through the exact same thing I am somewhere in this world and no one says ANYTHING about alot of the whoas of contest preparation. So, buckle up, read on, or skip to the next paragraph. Up to you.

The one thing I like, no love, about getting my period during contest prep is that I KNOW I will be guaranteed one really good bowel movement a month.  I kid you not.  My body is in top form when I am consuming carbs.  As those amounts decrease my bowel movements follow suit. It sucks but it's a VERY real side effect that has caused so many women to feel the need to use an excess amount of laxitives. I do not recommend that. If you must, grab a bottle of Cascara Sagrada from your local herbal store and let it work it's magic. Or wait for your period like me, your choice.  Anyway, sure the pain is ridiculous, and sometimes I have to leave work because Advil just isn't cutting it, but at the end of the day I know that for the next 22-28 days things are sloooooow going.

On to numbero 3.  For those of you who haven't heard me use the word yet, I have dubbed my contest prep alter ego The Carb Zombie.  It usually shows up as soon as my diet changes but this year I had a whole month with nothing. No cravings, and only slight irritableness. I was actually starting to get a little scared and wondering if I had actually mastered the ability to shut it up but I was oh so happy to learn it wasn't going to be that easy as it showed up last week.  I was able to power through it though. I STILL don't have a craving for chocolate which has been my biggest weakness through all of the contests I've done.  Currently I just want to eat in general. I want to go out and order an overly portioned meal and eat until I feel disgusting. lol  Otherwise The Carb Zombie is strangely satisfied. :)

As for everything else, the above is my everything else right now.  Hubby is still training hard with me and looking fantastic. I can't wait for the both of us to hit the stage in April and accomplish this contest as a couple! 

You're Nuts

Just a quick update before I get in to my current rant, training is good. Dieting is weirdly good (another blog about that later), I feel really really good.  I'm also lookin' real good. ;) 

Anywho the latest ridiculousness to get me fired up, though I KNOW it doesn't usually take much, is Nutella's current marketing campaign to be a breakfast food.  Yes, I said breakfast.  Breaking your fast with sugar, palm oil "and a hint of coco". 

Exibit A:

In the words of Grumpy Cat: NO. No no no no no.  Even on the days post competition when I'm craving every horrible food imaginable, never have I started my day with the filling of Ferrero Rocher. 

Exibit B:

Notice they say "tasty" instead of "healthy".  I already have an interesting time finding a breakfast for my 13 year old step son that is inbetween the healthy and tasty region that he'll eat.  It usually consists of Mini Wheats but at least it's better then most of the other crap on the shelves. Now we have Nutella saying "Come to the dark side, we have hazelnuts." 

In 2012 Nutella went on a breakfast tour of the Southern United States.  A TOUR!  When is the last time a company like Quaker went on a tour?



Something so simple as a bowl of oats, heck even those prepackaged flavoured oats, is 100 times better than serving your, quote, "loved ones" something that has sugar and palm oil listed as the first two ingredients (i.e. the base), in their product. 

Educate yourself and your family about the difference between treats and proper nutrition and how to balance both.  Your kids are the future and you are responsible for setting them up with the knowledge of forming a nutritious meal that is fuel for their growing bodies.    

*The above is simply the opinion of someone who is striving to live a healthier life and sees the effects of advertising on young minds. If you want to eat Nutella for breakfast, have at'er*

Progressive Rant - 1 month update

Time for a 1 month update. I don't even know what to say anymore to be honest. I feel like I'm redundant. If you go back 2 years ago I'm still saying the same stupid crap. Still complaining, still struggling, still making excuses.  How many times does a person have to burn their forehead on a curling iron before they realize that was a dumb idea. Usually just once because the scar that's left is a daily reminder. (true story, circa 1997) So how many times does a person have to outgrow their pants before they learn the same lesson???? So far it's 3 for me.  While "third time's the charm", there are just some things that don't fit so well into that catagory. Marriages, heart attacks, strokes, and waist lines. Among others but you get the point.

Do I sound mad? That's because I am mad. I look at my progress picture and while I'm happy with my progress, I truly, madly, deeply, (also circa 1997) am, I absolutely loathe the before picture. Because it's the same before picture from last year, and the year before, and probably the year before that where a bag of chips a night was divine.  So while the bright side is, chips last longer should they ever enter our household, I get bummed out at the reality of my lack of balance.

That nonsense all being said, the progress below was made in a little over a month I realized but still, pretty freakin awesome if I can say so myself. 

No my hair didn't magically grow by the way.  Most of the time my hair is up in a bun, which I see is causing me to bald a tad. Meh. 

So here's my ass all over the internet for someone to do unspeakable things with but that's the chance you take when you try to inspire people and frankly yourself.  And if you see this and want to try to pass it off as you or as someone you're training, screw you. This is me and I'm trained by the one and only Ainsley McSorely suckers.  Get off your own lazy asses and make your own progress and your own blogs with your own rants. 

I promise next time I'll be happier. lol

Total Recall

I went for my assessment last night and though the results could have been better, they could have been worse.  It is after all only 2 weeks since I started training hard again after becoming a lazy slob and drinking wine instead of water.  Despite the short amount of training time, I think I had a bit of a Total Recall moment on the way home. (the original not the rebooted crap)  If you need a refresher, here's the visual

It's only been 2 freakin weeks Chantelle.

On my drive home I had the time to reflect on the work I put in through those 2 weeks. Was I really pushing as hard as I could? No.  Was I following my diet 100%? Yes.  Do you even want to freakin do this anyway?? I really do.

Last year I said I would find balance and stop the horrible rebounding, I failed. I had a plan and I failed to execute it! The year before I said the same thing and the same thing happened.  3rd time's a charm maybe?? lol I guess we'll see. 

Change Your Brain, Change The Game

We're over half way through January and I'm 2 weeks in to contest prep.  Yup, I'm in it, living, loving it to a degree, and trying to not let it define me.  I've been sitting here wishing I hadn't let myself get so far gone but there's no use in pondering it.  I can' puke up the Tim Horton's breakfast sandwiches I ate, nor the wine I consumed (Both my 2 "foods I consumed in excess". Is wine a food though?), so why bother with the stress?

After 2 weeks of trying to time out 6 meals a day, one including salmon which I despise, and workouts that make me question my mental strength more times in an hour than I have in my whole life, I am down 5lbs. I don't know the measurements as of yet but my ass isn't as giggly and my muffin fluff isn't as, well, fluffy. I know that this season I 10000000% made the concious decision to put myself here. I wrestled with it, lost sleep over it, emotionally ate about it.   This prep feels different in a way I have no words for currently.  Check back later though as I plan on scouting the google thesaurus.  :)

While I'm disappointed in how far out of control I got, I know what happened, I know EXACTLY how I got here, and I know that no weights and too much bad food make Chantelle go something something. ;) (If you got that, high five!)  I currently like to think that I did a case study on myself and the effects that working out has on mild depression and stress.  My conclusion is that eating good food and doing good work in the gym are two of the best drugs around. :)

Bragg-ing Rights

If you have followed Tosca Reno, celebrity fad diets, or read a fitness magazine you have probably heard about Braggs Organic Apple Cider Vinegar. Or as the cool kids call it, ACV.  In my usual fashion I've been "getting around" to trying this stuff because not only does it help assist in weight loss but it assists in digestion, wards off sickness, helps your skin, and a bunch of other fantastic things as listed in this article below. :)
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3598/7-Reasons-to-Love-Apple-Cider-Vinegar.html

If you haven't tried this stuff before don't let the name fool you. It does not taste like apples nor does it taste like cider. I'm starting to think the name is as it is just to get you to drink it. lol  It actually tastes very similar to Balsamic Vinegar which makes me want to put it on my salad.  Instead however I'm putting 2 tablespooons in a shaker cup with 5oz of water and downing it like an alcoholic downs wine. Or I guess like I down wine. ;) 

I have just started this process yesterday and on average (by speaking to other people) after about 2 weeks you really start to notice a difference in bloating, skin texture, etc so I will definitely be keeping everyone up to date on my experiences.  With my constant issues in digestion and bloating what do I have to lose by drinking this stuff twice to three times a day? 

If you want to know more about Braggs ACV and it's amazing "Mother of Vinegar" that it contains go to the Braggs website or do a little googling. Then pick yourself up a bottle and try it out! Be sure to share your experiences with me as well!
http://bragg.com/products/bragg-organic-apple-cider-vinegar.html

OH! One tip, after you're done shooting this stuff back, rinse your mouth with water. The acidity from the ACV can erode your enamel. Happy drinking!

Dear 2012,

Dear 2012,
What a year we had, eh?  We learned that ALOT can happen in a short amount of time and that it can change our lives forever.  We also learned that it can be the best thing that ever happened.  We learned what it was like to feel so out of balance that it became destructive.  We then re-learned that we are in control of our happiness and only we can change our path.

We learned that making time for our significant others away from the daily grind is extremely important and that it needs to happen more often.  We learned that making time for friends and family is also just as important and that it too needs to happen more often.  We learned that the definition of family is whatever you want it to be and that blood relations aren't always part of the mix. 

2012 we learned that I have far too many things I want to do and that I can't do them all at once. Maybe 2013 will have some ideas on how to be in more than one place at a time. ;)  2012, I will not forget the lessons you taught me.  I will not forget the struggles which taught the lessons nor the people who helped me through them. 

Dear 2013, we have alot of work to do.  This year is the year of balance, not balancing on the ball and hoping to the Gods we don't fall off.   This year there will be more date nights, more family nights, less computers and iPads.  However this year there will be more photos, photo shoots, working on the previous items, and more learning.  There will be more morning workouts, more dog walks, more eating to fuel my body instead of my emotions. 

In 2013 I will love myself as much as I love others, stress less, be more, and do my very best at achieving the goals I have set for myself. Let 2013 begin! 

Happy New Year to everyone!