Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Waste Not, Whine Not.

I have been one whiney baby the last little while.  I've been in such a funk, throwing a month long tantrum, honestly just wanting to drink wine, eat junk, and get fat.  This is the person I was before I found bodybuilding, way before I started competing, and who I fight with every day. 

I feel alot of people think that once you've "transformed" yourself, once you've made the decision to get healthy, work out, compete, etc, that it becomes easy to do, that it's second nature, but that couldn't be farther from the truth.  I met Miryah Scott when she visited Winnipeg and had a brief conversation with her on how her inner fat girl (her words lol) tries to get the best of her every damn day.  This coming from a woman who took 3 WBFF world titles consecutively in 3 years after having competed once before.  Alot of her motivation, I assume, comes from having to keep fit for photo shoots, appearances, general schmoozing but I really don't think she would say it's ever easy, even now.  

Bottom line, I'm so done with feeling sorry for myself and I am DEFINITELY done with this yoyo sh!t I've done for the last 3 years.  This year though I had begun to try to find balance the scales tipped and I let life take me on a roller coaster ride.  We made some not so good pit stops and I gained 10 more pounds than I wanted to post competition.  Contrary to what you might think I don't, in fact, like doing the "My pants won't go past my ass" dance every morning.  On the bright side my extra fluff is going to make some damn nice muscles and my ass will look fabulous strutting that Fitness Star Stage come April 2013. Oh, did I mention I'm competing??  Yup, you heard that right!!  Come back tomorrow for my blog about Fitness Star International, the incredible show they put on in Winnipeg, and why I decided to hitch my waggon to their horses.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Friends In Places

I have met some amazing people on my fitness journey. Heck one of them is now my best friend! I'm sponsored by an amazing, local, supplement company (*cough*gorillajack.com*cough*) who not only help me with my supplementation needs but my mental health too. lol  I have a trainer who is not just my trainer but is also a good friend, supporting me through everything that's been going on lately.  I have also become good friends with one of the top fitness photographers around, Pink Elephant Photography, who really stand behind and beside local and Canadian athletes.  It's relationships like these that make this industry what it is.  It's not the stage, it's not the trophies, it's the life long connections that come out of the experiences.  The one thing that I have to remember with these connections is that the support doesn't end once you're off the stage, once you've stopped training for a bit, or once you've gained 20lbs again. ;) No these people, who are genuinely concerned with your well being, are still thinking of you even if you haven't talked in a while or haven't stopped by for a bit. 

The prime example of the above is the lovely Casey, one half of Pink Elephant Photography, let me know that she had to unfortunately pass me over for a modeling job because of my current state of fitness, or non-fit-ness.  While I was disappointed it was realization that I was still in her mind that made me re-think what I've been doing and not doing.  What goals I have and what goals I really want to achieve.  The stage is fun, the journey there can be taxing but when I get to the goal it's worth it. Modeling on the other hand is something I've always wanted to do but could never figure out how until 4 years ago when I became a part of the fitness industry. To know that I am on the minds of some amazing people for amazing opportunities is completely humbing, mind blowing, and a kick in the face all at the same time. 

Right after Casey had told me about the opportunity I was yelling at myself in my head, all the while knodding and smiling and agreeing that it was THE perfect job for someone like me.*

*Like me meaning: In her 30's but still looks young enough to be 25 and not too ripped (when I'm fit) that I don't look unappealing to the target market*

All things considered, the fact that I missed out is really ok. Obviously I would have given my left boob or a toe to have done it but honestly it's ok. :)  I've accepted that I'm taking the long way around. I have also accepted that I'm not the instant success story who becomes awesome over night and takes over the world.  My style is a little more subtle, a little more Bruce Banner experimentation and less Hulk smash.  The one thing I am sure of is that I have an amazing support team that extends much farther than I realized and I am extremely lucky to have it.  And where normally I would use those facts to put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to do something incredible right away, I'm now directing it in a more "extended motivation" kind of way.  These people are here for me year round.  Training, not training. Sane, insane. As well as reminding me that I have the potential to achieve the things I set out to achieve.  

Thank you. <3