Obsessive much?

I realized today that I've spent WAY too much time obsessing about my body image and it has completely changed how I've been feeling about myself lately.  It's made me slightly depressed to be honest.  So today, no more!  There's no reason for me to obsess about not having definitive abs, truthfully I never had them to begin with lol.  The next 6 months or so are all about growing so that I can bring more muscle to the stage in 2012.  Fat is a part of growing and as long as my ass and arms look good who cares.

Tonight is lower body night, the first one of week 5.  I want to make sure I warm up really good so my knees don't get angry at me.  I'm REALLY looking forward to pushing the heavier weight. I don't think I pushed myself hard enough last leg day so my legs are in for a treat!

Have a fabulous day and lift heavy!

Love/Hate

I love off season for one reason: building muscle. However I am hating off season right now because it's becoming more and more apparent that I have a digestion disorder.  Sure I know I'm eating a TON more food but it's been 5 1/2 weeks since the competition, should things have not figured themselves out by now?  Anyway, I'm trying not to be a procrastinator and going to contact my sister in law, the herbal nutritionist, to test my blood to see what's up.  It actually makes me excited!  Soon I will be able to eat something and not bloat up for the whole day! I will more comfortable in my clothes and with everything in general.  Speaking of rolling the ball o' life in another direction I start my first photography class on Sunday!  I'm working towards my own business that will specialize in fitness/bodybuilding photography as well as wedding, portraits etc.  Can't wait!!! :)

Miracle Grow

I don't think I had any idea what could actually happen in 3 1/2 weeks when a person has a great muscle base to start with along with the right fuel and supplements.  The gains I've made aren't significantly huge but I'm well on my way to completely transforming my body.  While I'm not obsessing too much about next year's competition I do keep the thought in the back of my head that I may not get big enough for Figure. Then again based on what I've been doing so far there's a pretty good chance I will.  However after seeing that the girls who compete in bikini put in alot more work than most people think, I don't have as much of a problem entering the catagory. Do I think the posing can go a little too far? Absolutely, but if I want to take home a trophy next year I have to be realistic as to what catagory I fit in to.

On a different note I have been doing some self research as to the cause behind my constant bloating especially after eating and it seems I could have a complex carbohydrate intolerance and/or high candida levels in my intestinal tract which has depleted my digestive enzymes. Instead of self medicating I'm actually going to get tested so I can treat it properly. How lovely it would be to not have this constant bloated feeling!!!  I'll be sure to keep everyone posted. :)

Finding acceptance

I took a good look at myself in the mirror this weekend, actually a few of them. lol  The exercise was to force my brain to see what was really there.  A strong, not-as-fluffy-as-you-think-I-am, official Figure competitor, woman. A girl friend of mine had told me that no matter how much I tried to prepare for the post competition blues, it most likely wouldn't be enough. She was completely right but I think I've done alot better than most their first time around.  This weekend I was able to see me for me and not what my mind's eye had been projecting.  Am I "cured"? Heck no, but it's a start. 

This week vow to be proud of how far you've come in the journey you're on.  :)

Floating Away

Oh goodness I have not been very careful this week. My sweet tooth has gotten a hold of me and we have been on some adventures. I also haven't been drinking enough water which doesn't work well when taking creatine I'm realizing.  Needless to say I'm feeling very balloon-like today which I'm hoping will subside when I get back to doing cardio (another thing I've neglected).  When I weighed myself this morning I am 131lbs which is exactly 10lbs up from my competition weight. I'd like to not go higher than 135 so I have to make sure I'm doing cardio about 3x a week. 

This post competition thing is a touchy process. I don't want to make it super hard on myself come pre-comp to try to lose a ton of fat again.  While most of my weight right now is water retention I still haven't gotten past the number on the scale.  I've been procrastinating taking measurements because I know I don't want to know my waist size. lol  I do have faith however that I will find that perfect balance.

New horizon

It's been almost 4 weeks since my competition but it's still resonating quite loudly in my head.  It may or may not have something to do with the bits of Pro Tan that are STILL hanging on for dear life.  (I've tried to get it off...lol) This is definitely NOT a bad thing, it's keeping me in line and giving me motivation and making sure I don't obsess about the slight fluff settling around my midsection. ;)  I've been told it's necessary in order to grow and growing I am.  I have made great strength gains in just a few short weeks and I can visually see the changes in my body. I haven't started keeping measurements though I really should.  I was starting to worry that I'm gaining to much weight too fast but I last weighed myself at 129lbs which is keeping in line with the 0.5lbs/week gain I should be. Sadly thinking about doing cardio makes me cringe because I did so much of it before but I need a small amount to keep things in control. 

I know what you're thinking after reading all of that. Why am I worrying/obsessing in my off season? Because a productive off season is where it all happens.  My off season is going to make my next competition season and I really really want to do it right.  Plus I'm slightly OCD despite the title of this blog. lol  Anywho, that's what is happening as of late.  :) 

Those who cannot do, volunteer!

The Manitoba Amateur Bodybuilding Association Provincial Championships are coming up in June and since I didn't make the top 5 I had plans to buy tickets so I could cheer my peeps on.  However now I'm thinking I'm going to miss the excitement of backstage too much.  I am at this point seriously considering volunteering for the show!  Most of the volunteers for the Novice show are Provincial competitors so there's going to be tons of openings and it would even better if my hubby would do it with me so he could see what goes on behind the scenes since he's competing next year.  I am fully aware of the looooooong day but think I reaaaaallly want to do it.  I'll keep everyone posted! :)